Want a video to make your heart smile just a bit? Cosmo's songs are all quirky to say the least. Strong, upbeat songs that talk about everyday problems in a unique way. My favorite of course is his song Gay Pirates. It is a take on a sea-shanty about a gay pirate in love, and the music video is the band, drummers and dancers in a one-take stage enactment of the song. Makes me grin every time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dysG12QCdTA
Rainbow
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Gay Artist: Mary Lambert
I would not be surprised if most of you have heard of Mary Lambert. She sings the chorus of Macklemore's hit Same Love. Some of you may also know that she is a Seattle singer with songs of her own, including the song which includes the chorus from Same Love, called She Keeps Me Warm. This is perhaps one of the absolute cutest lesbian-love-song-music-videos which will ever be created.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhqH-r7Xj0E
She is a bad-ass woman, and talented singer. She has seen her share in life including, rape, bi-polar disorder, and drug abuse and strives to share her experiences and feelings through her art, including with a rape entitled Body Love. I see her being an awesome lesbian artist on the rise, and can't wait to see where she goes next.
If you want to hear more from her, you can type "mary lambert kexp" into itunes and download a free podcast of live performances at KEXP, which is naturally a rad, Seattle, radio station.
She will be touring this summer, and for those in the NW, she will be at Sasquatch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhqH-r7Xj0E
She is a bad-ass woman, and talented singer. She has seen her share in life including, rape, bi-polar disorder, and drug abuse and strives to share her experiences and feelings through her art, including with a rape entitled Body Love. I see her being an awesome lesbian artist on the rise, and can't wait to see where she goes next.
If you want to hear more from her, you can type "mary lambert kexp" into itunes and download a free podcast of live performances at KEXP, which is naturally a rad, Seattle, radio station.
She will be touring this summer, and for those in the NW, she will be at Sasquatch.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Lets talk about consent: again
Several things have happened in the last couple of weeks that have lead me to write this post. I consider myself a strong women, smart, and not easily led into dangerous situations. Yet, even I have found myself feeling used and taken advantage of. I have never been raped or sexually assaulted, and it is mostly for those women and men who have that I feel so strongly about this issue. We live in a culture where it is accepted to use other people for personal gain and sex is seen as casual and a means of control.
The two events that have lead to me to write this post are related to being taken advantage of in a relationship, and a casual date gone too far.
First for the relationship. I have mentioned before that my ex cheated on me, lied about it, broke up with me and then told me about the cheating. That alone made me feel taken advantage of. I was betrayed by someone I loved and who I thought loved me. However, I do believe that she is a severely confused and currently troubled person who did not do this with the intent of hurting me, but instead out of selfishness.
The place where I think she really crossed the line came the day she broke up with me. We had broken up, but she had not told me about the cheating, and I was under the impression that we were taking a step back and reassessing our relationship later in the weekend. She knew that I would want nothing to do with her after she told me about the cheating, so intentionally withheld that information until after I had held her hand for her tattoo, went out shopping and to lunch, and worst, took a shower with her. She went to take a shower and specifically called me in there with her. Less than a hour later she filled me in, and I immediately felt dirty and used.
The next incident happened a few days ago on a date. I had invited the guy over to bake, and had made a point to say that I did not want anything to happen besides baking. *note: the first time I specifically did not give consent*. We had a good time, and he kissed me. That was fine with me. He took off my shirt. At this point I did not specifically say no. We continued to make out, and I stopped him and said "I do not want to go further than this tonight" *the second time I specifically said no*. He continued to try and escalate things. Each time I would stop him at my boundary, and yet he must have tried close to a dozen times. I get that during sex you have to interpret your partner's actions , and that can be difficult at times. However there is a difference between trying to see the level someone is into things, and her specifically saying that she does not want to go there. At that point, that choice has to be respected.
These have been a good reminder to be careful with my heart and my body, and to make sure that my partners feel respected as well.
The two events that have lead to me to write this post are related to being taken advantage of in a relationship, and a casual date gone too far.
First for the relationship. I have mentioned before that my ex cheated on me, lied about it, broke up with me and then told me about the cheating. That alone made me feel taken advantage of. I was betrayed by someone I loved and who I thought loved me. However, I do believe that she is a severely confused and currently troubled person who did not do this with the intent of hurting me, but instead out of selfishness.
The place where I think she really crossed the line came the day she broke up with me. We had broken up, but she had not told me about the cheating, and I was under the impression that we were taking a step back and reassessing our relationship later in the weekend. She knew that I would want nothing to do with her after she told me about the cheating, so intentionally withheld that information until after I had held her hand for her tattoo, went out shopping and to lunch, and worst, took a shower with her. She went to take a shower and specifically called me in there with her. Less than a hour later she filled me in, and I immediately felt dirty and used.
The next incident happened a few days ago on a date. I had invited the guy over to bake, and had made a point to say that I did not want anything to happen besides baking. *note: the first time I specifically did not give consent*. We had a good time, and he kissed me. That was fine with me. He took off my shirt. At this point I did not specifically say no. We continued to make out, and I stopped him and said "I do not want to go further than this tonight" *the second time I specifically said no*. He continued to try and escalate things. Each time I would stop him at my boundary, and yet he must have tried close to a dozen times. I get that during sex you have to interpret your partner's actions , and that can be difficult at times. However there is a difference between trying to see the level someone is into things, and her specifically saying that she does not want to go there. At that point, that choice has to be respected.
These have been a good reminder to be careful with my heart and my body, and to make sure that my partners feel respected as well.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Back on the dating frontier
Following the end of my last relationship, at first I was at a loss. I had it in my mind that this girl could be the one I would spend the rest of my life with, or at least I would have more time to figure it out. Unfortunately those are not choices I can make, so now I have to figure out how to be single and where to go from here.
I want to keep busy and distract myself a bit, and dating seems like one way to do that. Pass the time, and work on moving forward. Unfortunately waiting for "the one" to come by, especially in the queer world, seems like a slow process. So I am working the world of technology and using Okcupid and Tinder. We will see how this goes. i have used one before and had some success. Usually my strategy is to send out dozens of messages, strike up conversations and if they seem even at all decent I go out to coffee with them. That way I get out there, and can see in person if I have any chemistry with these people. Most I don't, and I spend a couple awkward hours with them and move on. Part of trying to be open about this process, is trying things out with people of all genders, including male, which it has been I while since I have dated a straight guy.
I went on my first date during this process last night. To put it simply, it was enlightening. The date was with a guy. We chatted, drank and baked banana bread. It was a fun night and it felt like we hit it off. Unfortunately, as soon as shirts came off, I realized I was not attracted to him at all. I am not going to take this as conclusive evidence that I am not into guys at all, but I am becoming more and more confident on that idea. My best friend, gay-boy Chris said "I can't believe you tried to be straight." I wouldn't say that I was trying to be straight, but I guess I a searching to be absolutely confident that that is not the case, as I had believed for most of my life.
With one unsuccessful date under my belt, I am ready to move forward. On that note, I have a date with a gorgeous woman, also a nurse, this friday. Cross your fingers for me.
I will keep updating as I go along, and share any good stories, both success and failure. I hope you enjoy reading about my often-to-dramatic dating life, and that yours is going more smoothly.
I want to keep busy and distract myself a bit, and dating seems like one way to do that. Pass the time, and work on moving forward. Unfortunately waiting for "the one" to come by, especially in the queer world, seems like a slow process. So I am working the world of technology and using Okcupid and Tinder. We will see how this goes. i have used one before and had some success. Usually my strategy is to send out dozens of messages, strike up conversations and if they seem even at all decent I go out to coffee with them. That way I get out there, and can see in person if I have any chemistry with these people. Most I don't, and I spend a couple awkward hours with them and move on. Part of trying to be open about this process, is trying things out with people of all genders, including male, which it has been I while since I have dated a straight guy.
I went on my first date during this process last night. To put it simply, it was enlightening. The date was with a guy. We chatted, drank and baked banana bread. It was a fun night and it felt like we hit it off. Unfortunately, as soon as shirts came off, I realized I was not attracted to him at all. I am not going to take this as conclusive evidence that I am not into guys at all, but I am becoming more and more confident on that idea. My best friend, gay-boy Chris said "I can't believe you tried to be straight." I wouldn't say that I was trying to be straight, but I guess I a searching to be absolutely confident that that is not the case, as I had believed for most of my life.
With one unsuccessful date under my belt, I am ready to move forward. On that note, I have a date with a gorgeous woman, also a nurse, this friday. Cross your fingers for me.
I will keep updating as I go along, and share any good stories, both success and failure. I hope you enjoy reading about my often-to-dramatic dating life, and that yours is going more smoothly.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Gay Artist: Brandi Carlile
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Brandi Carlile. She is my dream girl. I am absolutely in love with this woman. She is beautiful and has the scratchy-wonderful voice of my angel.She has recorded her most recent album(s) at Bear Creek studios, which consequentially is really close to where I grew up (within a mile of my late-elementary school and of my high-school job). She records with who she calls "the twins" and performs/records with the Seattle symphony.
Her voice is scratchy and deep in the most beautiful way. Her lyrics are magical and interesting. My favorite song is a sad one, about her high school friend who committed suicide: "That Year"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R2efYK36z8
Also she is gay, and just got married, about a year ago, to a super cute woman (Catherine Shepherd, 2012)
Like her on facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/brandicarlile or listen to perhaps her most famous song: "the Story"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8pQLtHTPaI P.S. If she is ever single again, I have first dibs.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
post-"the boi"
I am sure that many of you have experienced breakup. I am told that they are a normal part of growing-up. I am told that everyone experiences the pain I am currently going through. This is the first time I have been broken up with. The first time I have been cheated on, treated like garbage and told to get lost by the one I thought I loved.
It is a shitty feeling. She has pretended to love me. She has told me what I wanted to hear (said by her). She apparently views me as a friend. A bro (again her word). I saw her as a lover and a partner. Its hard to get over that. I have spent about 24 hours crying and calling on the friends who will come and comfort me.
Now it is time to move on. Move past. Move on to a me that I want to be.
She was perfect in so many ways, but the real perfect partner will fit with the real me. I need to figure that out first. I need to be confident in myself. I need to have a stable job and place to live. I need to know who I am and what i like to do. I need to have a support system of friends and family outside of her.
Then someday I will be the me that I want to present to her, whenever that may be, whoever she may be.
It is a shitty feeling. She has pretended to love me. She has told me what I wanted to hear (said by her). She apparently views me as a friend. A bro (again her word). I saw her as a lover and a partner. Its hard to get over that. I have spent about 24 hours crying and calling on the friends who will come and comfort me.
Now it is time to move on. Move past. Move on to a me that I want to be.
She was perfect in so many ways, but the real perfect partner will fit with the real me. I need to figure that out first. I need to be confident in myself. I need to have a stable job and place to live. I need to know who I am and what i like to do. I need to have a support system of friends and family outside of her.
Then someday I will be the me that I want to present to her, whenever that may be, whoever she may be.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Opening an ETSY store
This week I have been in crazy project mode. Two projects have dominated my time. 1: designing tattoos (which I will share more about later) and 2: making sex toys. The toys I have made so far have come out looking and working really well! So far I have made harnesses, two types of handcuffs, a spreader bar and a small whip. Believe me, I am turned on by my own creativeness. The point of this being though, that I want to share my expertise and enthusiasm, and hopefully make a few bucks. So I have decided that I am going to open an ETSY shop to get my products out there. I will post the link when it is all set up sometime in the next week or so. My goal is to sell queer friendly, sex-positive products. I have already started production (and sold one harness to one of my transboi friends!!!), started my branding and business schemes and now just need to do a photo shoot of my products (my girlfriend is not super excited that I will be modeling them and have sex toy pics on the net, but I think it sounds like a blast!) Anyways I hope some of these products look appealing to you all and you will come check out my shop when its ready.
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