I am sure that many of you have experienced breakup. I am told that they are a normal part of growing-up. I am told that everyone experiences the pain I am currently going through. This is the first time I have been broken up with. The first time I have been cheated on, treated like garbage and told to get lost by the one I thought I loved.
It is a shitty feeling. She has pretended to love me. She has told me what I wanted to hear (said by her). She apparently views me as a friend. A bro (again her word). I saw her as a lover and a partner. Its hard to get over that. I have spent about 24 hours crying and calling on the friends who will come and comfort me.
Now it is time to move on. Move past. Move on to a me that I want to be.
She was perfect in so many ways, but the real perfect partner will fit with the real me. I need to figure that out first. I need to be confident in myself. I need to have a stable job and place to live. I need to know who I am and what i like to do. I need to have a support system of friends and family outside of her.
Then someday I will be the me that I want to present to her, whenever that may be, whoever she may be.
i understand how bad it feels to truly care for someone and have them rip out your heart. i've had 13 relationships with females and only one with a male and he treated me better than all 13 of those "women" combined. each of them cheated on me or used me for their own gain; i guess i'm a bit short sighted as i would continue to attempt to "make things work" even while they were busy.......well not making anything work. evetually i would get the idea and skulk off to lick my wounds and attempt to build the courage to try again. my courage for trying again is almost burned out. if all i have to look forward to is being hurt, i can visit my family if i want that, then i will just stay single. Meg darlin' you have lots of friends. here's hoping for the best for all of us. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Erin :)
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to have your heart ripped out by someone you loved. I hope, as my other relationships have, that this will only make me stronger and more ready for what is to come. I know that I am a fucking awesome girlfriend, and a catch, so I will happily wait until I find someone who will appreciate and reciprocate that. I hope you do as well.
-Megs